Chronic Pain

After successful healing from spinal fusion surgery (Thoracic level 1 through lumber level 1), I felt healthy and like new. Sadly, that feeling wouldn't last. On my way to work at an oceanfront law firm in Florida, I was in a car at a stop light. As I waited for the red light to tun green or traffic to be clear I saw in my rear view mirror a large dump truck. The kind with the higher bumper in the front. I watched in horror in my rear view mirror as the truck wasn't coming to a stop. Not only was it not coming to a stop, it was not even beginning to slow down. The truck hit me full-force, crushing the back of my car like an accordion with the back seats crushed into the front seats. It wasn't over yet. I was knocked into oncoming traffic. I remember trying to hit the gas pedal and move my car and the horror of realizing that I couldn't move my car as my car was stuck to the front of the dump truck. The dump truck moved forward and I began honking and screaming sure I was about to die. Because my spine couldn't flex to absorb the momentum and due to the motion of the accident (a rear-ending), my neck took much of the damage. When I arrived at the hospital, upon reviewing the x-rays, the medical staff were amazed telling me that they were surprised that I was not paralyzed. I have experienced chronic spinal pain ever since. I am in pain every day. I once tried to explain what chronic pain is like to my now ex-husband. I asked him to imagine himself at his job, sitting at his desk, concentrating on emails and following complex instructions. Then I tapped him on the shoulder repeatedly and said, "ow ow ow". Hard to pay attention when pestered yeah? Doable with practice, but very difficult. Now imagine that my tapping is not with my finger and not a mere annoyance, it is a sledge hammer and screaming, "OW! OW! OW!." Now, with that, do your job well and live a "normal" life. That day began my life-long battle with chronic pain. I am in pain every day. Every. Day.

I mostly experience two types of pain: 1) a sharp shooting pain like painful lighting shooting around my rib-cage or down my arms and sometimes my legs; and 2) a dull ache normally accompanied with a hot or burning sensation in my spine and sometimes my left hip. When the pain becomes severe I get trimmers or said differently, my hands tremble. I also sometimes experience involuntary muscle movements mostly in my limbs in the form of jerking as if shocked or twitching. The involuntary movements range from subtle as in hardly noticeable to others, to severe as in jerk most of your body as if received an electric shock.

Chronic pain has been a part of my life nearly all of my adult-life. In 2024 it has been two decades of chronic pain. Two decades of various physical therapies, various prescription medications including narcotics, exhaustive research and nearly anything (legal) I could do to lessen the pain I was in.