Kill with Kindness

When I was a young teen 12 to 14 years of age my mother married who I will refer to as an evil stepfather, "Kevin". She later married a man whom I loved very much. Though I was about grown when he came into our lives, he was a wonderful stepfather. We had a good relationship. He passed away a few years ago and is missed. But back to the story about the evil stepfather who I will call Kevin.

Kevin drank and did drugs frequently, daily. He was very mercurial in temperament. It wasn't a rarity for the police to be called to our home. To paint a picture for you: One night I had spent the day with a friend. She was 16 and able to drive so I was probably 14 or 15 years old. When we pulled into the driveway in front of the house there was a cylindrical hole in the front window and beer bottle on the ground in the front drive, clearly having been thrown through the front window. My friend said, "No. I am not leaving you here." I said it was fine and assured her that it was okay, the norm, and I would be fine. She refused and without even asking her Mom's permission first, she insisted that I stay the night at her house a second night in a row. She told me to grab my toothbrush, change of clothes, and rather than asking state matter-of-factly to my mom that I was staying over with my friend again.

One day I was home alone with Kevin. He was angry about something (clearly on some kind of substance) and began to boss me around. Kevin angrily and briskly opened the kitchen cabinets, taking every single dish out and dumping them on the counter or floor. He emptied the contents of every kitchen drawer, tossing them on the counter (if they fit) or the floor. He did so wildly and violently. Pots and pans loudly clattered on the floor. Utensils clinked and rang as they were dumped out of drawers. He told me that I was to wash every single dish, utensil, appliance piece by hand in the bath tub. He often looked for ways to "show me who's boss" especially when my mom was at not home. And she was often at work striving to pay for everything as a single mom with a mortgage and other financial responsibilities in addition to her two kids (me and my brother).

I balked at the idea of handwashing the dishes in the bath tub, not because of the amount of work as he suspected but because I thought the task to be unhygienic. We had a dishwasher, but he wanted me to wash all by hand in the bathtub. He seemed satisfied when I balked at the imposed chore, but I explained politely that, actually, I had no problem washing all of the dishes but doing so in the bathtub would not be hygienic. Kevin insisted, telling me I had to do what he said, when he said, how he said. I calmly and politely agreed and went on to thoroughly wash and sanitize the bathtub then use it to wash by hand every dish, utensil, and appliance-part setting them neatly on bath towels to dry.

I was a new Christian and had decided that I would respect and comply with the authority figures in my life (so long as the request was not unreasonable, inappropriate, or otherwise to my detriment). I still remember the bewildered look on his face as I complied calmly, even cheerfully, said, "okay" and passed him as I carrying the first load of dishes to the bathroom.

"Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering;" Colossians 3:12

"Bondservants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh, not with eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but in sincerity of heart, fearing God." Colossians 3:22

Okay, this was my opportunity to practice walking in obedience, to do something I really didn't want to do at all, but to do it as if to the Lord. After all, if Jesus had asked me to do the dishes I gladly would. I did the dishes for Jesus rather than for Kevin.

As a hobby, I collected knives and had a decent collection. After that day, Kevin removed all knives from my room. He acted untrusting of me and worried I would be resentful or vengeful, worried I would kill him with something other than kindness. He was surprised at how respectful and compliant I was to his requests or demands. Later, he would go on to tell me that he noticed a significant change in me that could only be attributed to my new found relationship with God. Be a living testimony. Glorify God in all you do and how you do it.

Side note, "But Jesus said to him, “Put your sword in its place, for all who take the sword will perish by the sword." Matthew 26:52 Years later Kevin (as well as one of his two brothers) died by the sword. Violence in their lives led to violent and untimely deaths.

Live for the Lord. Go to work at your job like Jesus is your boss. You work for God and not man. By doing this you demonstrate admirable qualities and glorify God. You are as a living testimony when you are working, running errands, all around living for, God Himself.