What is Co-Dependency?

Co-dependency is waiting to see how someone behaves, and their behavior is a determinant of how your day is. If John is in a good mood, then so am I. If John is having a bad day, then so am I. If your partner is depressed, you don’t have to be depressed also. If your partner is struggling with substance abuse, you don’t have to. Marriage is like dancing the tango. Two independent beings dancing together. It takes two to Tango.

Marriages fail when one of the partners doesn’t dance. The dance partner can only carry the non-dancing partner so far until their weight becomes unbearable. You can’t dance and drag someone.

“Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said: ‘I will dwell in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they shall be My people.’ Therefore ‘Come out from among them and be separate’, says the Lord. ‘Do not touch what is unclean, And I will receive you.’ ‘I will be a Father to you, and you shall be My sons and daughters, Says the Lord Almighty.’” II Corinthians 6:14-18

Psychology Today defines codependency as “a dysfunctional relationship dynamic where one person assumes the role of ‘the giver,’ sacrificing their own needs and well-being for the sake of the other, ‘the taker.’” Codependent people often end up being the victims of narcissists. Narcissists are often drawn to codependent people (See here for full article) because they validate them and are “the givers”.

We should all be dependent on God and not people. We should hold Him as first place, number one in our lives: God, spouse, kids. God should be first in our lives even above our kids in priority to us.

“’But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.'” Matthew 6:33

How often do you touch your phone? Imagine a world in which we used God’s word as often as our cell phones. You carried it with you throughout your day. Felt a streak of panic when it is left at home and go back to get it even if by doing you are going to be late to work. Checked and read it several times a day. Scrolled through it for about an hour a day. Imagine how improved our lives would be if we made putting on the armor of God a higher priority, the highest priority, in our daily lives.

“Lean not on your own understanding”! (Quote from Proverbs 3:5) Resolve that you don’t need to know the “why?” to obey God. Reflect on your life. How very many times could you not understand in the moment but see in hindsight a possible reason or purpose that came out of a difficult situation. Whether or not we know the “why” or have full understanding of a situation we should resolve to follow God.

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28

God works ALL things for our good. Trust in Him, your God and savior. If you do not know Him salvation is accessible to all. No one is beyond the reach of God.

'Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?”' John 11:25-26

Initiate a conversation. Post your comments.